The Family: CORE VALUES

Phillip F. Notaianni,

            After reading the article you wrote The Family: A Look at Utah History, I seemed to have a better understanding of the moral and social values of those family units living in Utah.  In your article you declare that the main values of the families coming to Utah were to survive their families socially, economically, and spiritually.  All though a lot of this is true I believe that it is no longer relevant when comparing the values of those same families in the present day and time.  It is my proposal that in today’s society, most family units center their efforts around two things; economic success and spiritual well being.

            In the past it was extremely important to the family unit to be sure they survived.  That was their main priority.  In our present day it has become the priority to make sure there is a strong spiritual value in the home and that they are financially stable.  If not just financially stable, they are successful and have sufficient funds to purchase and supply in excess their needs and wants.  According to The Family: A Proclamation to the World we have a better understanding that the family unit consists of a father, a mother, and their children.  It is the sole responsibility of the father to provide for the family and to be the patriarch.  In fulfilling this responsibility it is his duty to be sure the family is going in the right direction as to make sure his children are successful outside the home.  However, there is a second part to this success for his children outside of the home.  That has to do with the mother.  It is her responsibility to nurture the children and make sure they know how to take care of themselves and to make sure they know right from wrong.  In the opinion of Kristen Ketteringham (Single Parent Households – How does it Affect the Children) we understand that families can be successful under the direction of just one parent, but it is more successful when headed by both a mother and a father.

            We can come to a better understanding of what a family unit is and what their core values are when both a father and a mother are there to collaborate together to determine those values.  There is no pin pointed mold of what a family should look like and what values should be in a home to determine the success and over all well being of that family.  There are so many different equations that will ultimately come to the same conclusion.  We just need to find the equation that fits best with our own family.

Resources:

“Single Parent Households – How Does It Affect The Children?” –Kristin Ketteringham (Yahoo Contributor Network)

THE FAMILY: A Proclamation To The World

Thanksgiving.....Family!

This time of year is so much fun.  I love being able to reflect on my experiences as a kid during the holiday season and try to create similar wonderful experiences for my own children.  In fact it may seem a little funny but as adults, during this time of year, every year, we seem to all become like children.  We all seem to reflect on those childhood experiences and recreate them each and every year.  We just finished up thanksgiving and it was so much fun.  We had the opportunity to go to my in-laws home this year and spend time with my wife’s siblings and their families.  Even though I never grew up with these individuals it is quite amazing how close I have become with my in-laws.  I really enjoy being around them and conversing with them for hours while our kids wreak havoc on the rest of the house.  This is the one time of the year that we could care less that the children were doing this.  Every year during the holiday season we are completely focused on each other and focusing on enjoying the moment.  It is so funny how this time of year brings out the best in every one.  We all seem to set aside our struggles that we face on a daily basis and just come together as a family.  I noticed as we gathered together as a family at the Harris household that there was not a lot of sitting around the television.  We all seem to recognize that we could be doing this at home on our own time.  When we gather for thanksgiving we all sit around the dinner table or help in the kitchen and just talk and laugh.  The conversations always seem to be centered around previous experiences.  All though they are not experiences that I have had I still enjoy listening to them converse and laugh at each other.

HO HO HO!

This time of year is my favorite.  Granted my daughter was born just two days before Christmas so we get to celebrate her birthday every year.  Yes I also love going to my family’s house and my in-law’s home for thanksgiving dinner and Christmas.  It is so much fun to be around family and enjoy each other’s company.  Really, I don’t know what it is about this time of year but it always puts everyone in such good mood.  Everyone around you seems to put away the stresses of their jobs and lives and enjoy the holiday season.  All of this is great, but my favorite part about the holiday season is the family traditions.  I can remember doing these same traditions every year as a kid and it excites me to be able to continue those traditions with my own family.  The one tradition that stands out among the rest is the day after thanksgiving we would always put up the Christmas tree and Christmas decorations.  When I say put up the Christmas tree I mean we would go as a family and cut one down.  We never had a fake tree growing up.  Now with my family I can remember when my wife and I got married we would go in to the mountains with our jeep and another married couple and cut down our Christmas trees.  We would then strap them to our roof and take them home to set up and decorate.  It is so fun doing this in preparation for the Christmas season.

Legend Trip

Growing up in Iowa we would always hear of different places that were haunted.  Back in the midwest there are dozens of abandoned buildings for which we would challenge each other to break into and sleep for the night without a flashlight.  There was one place that no one would go into, the old run down insane asylum. This was a big building the size of a hotel out in the middle of nowhere surrounded by big brick walls.  I first heard of this location from my best friend Kevin Wailes.  With no one going in to the building and me just hearing of it at the time, everyone decided it was my turn to go in.  I really didn't think anything of it at the time because I had never heard of the horror stories.  As I proceeded to climb under the front gates I had a really bad feeling.  I got to the front gates and could not go in. It was probably because of the many movies I had seen that made places similar to this one look so evil.  I couldn't go in so I turned back.  I didn't want to be made fun of so I told them the doors were locked.  How would they know any better?  I mean I had gone under the gates which no one else that was friends with me had ever done.  All I know is that people have claimed that the place was haunted and those kids that lived near by would say they would hear screams in the middle of the night coming from this big abandoned building.  Whether it is true or not I do no know.  All I know are the feelings I got when I went under that gate. 

On December 23, 2012 at 7:57 p.m. our little baby Aubrey was born.  At seven pounds seven ounces and twenty and a half inches this little bundle of joy came into our lives and changed us for the better.  Nine months prior when we discovered that we were going to be having a baby we knew that our lives would never be the same.  As my wife thought about what clothes to get her and how to decorate the baby room, all I could think about is how I was going to bring in enough money to support my family.  How was I going to be the father and husband my family expected me to be?  Having a baby is not easy and is definitely not cheap!  However, when this little girl came into our lives all our worries seemed to just disappear.  No matter how hard it can get we seem to always find a way to get through and stay together.  We love Aubrey so much and it feels like we’ve always had her with us.  There is nothing like coming home and seeing her crawl towards you and try to climb your leg, or dance at the sound of music, or say your name over the speaker system between our rooms.  We love watching her grow and develop her own personality and traits.  Seeing her grow makes me forget all about the worries and stressful things happening all around me.  Coming home is like a safe haven knowing that I can be with my family.



                         -Sterling A. Heiner

Curdled Milk....Delicious!

Most of the time when people make reference to their childhood experiences they often speak of how their mom did really good or really bad at cooking meals.  I have heard some really good meals and some meals that make my skin crawl.  However, when it comes to my childhood it was never my mother that did the cooking, it was my dad.  He was outstanding when it came to putting different ingredients together and making a masterpiece for a meal.  All though he could cook any meal exceptionally well, his specialty was breakfast.  As a kid I could remember every Saturday morning coming down the stairs to the sound of sizzling bacon and the warm spell of golden brown pancakes.  My mouth would water and gradually as got closer to the kitchen oddly enough my pace would pick up as if that would make the difference of the meal being done cooking quicker.  Perhaps it was that I liked watching the meal cook.  Sometimes I would be the first kid down and dad would let me help him cook which I thoroughly enjoyed.  Even though his breakfasts were delicious, there was one that stood out amongst them all.  Cheese and hotcakes!  WOW, this was a meal everyone fought over!  This is a meal that has been past down from generation to generation in our family.  It is curdled milk with diced up melted sharp cheddar cheese drizzled over warm golden brown pancakes, then topped off with salt and pepper. MMMMMM delicious! To this day as we get together as family for the holidays we can count on that breakfast every morning.

Cheese & Hotcakes

Half Gallon of Whole Milk

Small Brick of Sharp cheddar Cheese (8oz)

Pancake Mix

• Pour into a casserole dish a half gallon of whole milk
• Dice up a small brick of sharp cheddar cheese into small cubes
• Dump in the cheddar cubes into the casserole dish with the whole milk
• Place casserole dish in oven at 400 degrees and cook until golden brown on top
• Cook pancakes
• Ladle the cheesy goodness over your pancakes and enjoy! 

Cultural Artifact: What Connects Us 2gether?????

When it comes to posting a blog I always rely on my wife to do the blogging.  Because this is my first time to write and post to a blog I am very nervous.  I am hoping that I can accurately describe through my words the feelings I am having towards the topic of family and my cultural artifact.

Family is such an important group.  Family is what makes us who we are and really directs us on our path of life.  There are so many values that define who we are that originated from that family unit.  In my family unit I had the odd opportunity to experience both a successful home and a broken home.  My father grew up in the small town of Bedford Wyoming.  He was raised to work hard and be smart about preparing for the future.  He was taught to be ahead of the curve and to expect the worse.  Because he was brought up this way I was fortunate to experience first hand how hard work leads to a financially successful life.  He had a great job that paid him more money than the national average.  However, even though he made a lot more money than most, he was one of the most frugal individuals I have ever seen.  He didn't want us to grow up spoiled and expecting everything to be given to us.  Because of that I have learned to establish my own success and determine on my own how successful I want to be.  On the other hand my mother grew up in Phoenix Arizona in an extremely abusive home.  Due to this upbringing, it unfortunately carried over to my childhood.  It was very difficult to grow up in a home that was not only successful but also extremely broken. Where I grew up in a partially broken home I am very cautious about trusting people and often times I have a hard time to forgive others.  I had the best and worst childhood experience all at the same time.

I never had the opportunity to grow up knowing my extended family, so when my grandmother presented to me one day my grandfather's belts and belt buckles I felt finally for the first time a connection to my extended family.  At that point I felt that despite not knowing many of my extended family, an expression of love.  I feel that through my grandfather's belts and buckles that I knew him.  I feel that if he were still alive that him and I would have been best friends.  I take great pride in those cultural artifacts.